January 9th 2009---one year ago

Guatemala has been on my mind so much lately. I have even found myself looking at fabric and wanting to buy some more authentic Guatemalan things for Emma. I miss my time there....I miss the people, the weather, the pool, the planning and leaving for the next trips, the fashion shows, the french toast, and most of all all the friends we made on our journeys! I always enjoyed hearing people's stories. Family after family made up of lots of children or new families being created with their first child. There is a connection...an unspoken bond in the Guatemalan adoption families....the people I meet there really understood the process and the feelings along with the process. Of course, our wonderful family and friends did the best they could to understand our joys and disappointments but there is no way to understand completely the feeling of seeing this beautiful baby handed to you in the lobby of the hotel from a foster mom who loved Emma so much she had tears in her eyes when she handed over. Or the heart breaking complete helplessness of packing up our little Emma to hand her back and return home without her. The constant fear that you struggle to push out of our mind: "What if this doesn't work?";"What if her birthmother changes her mind?"; "What if the Guatemalan government--PGN--doesn't approve us to be her parents?"; "What if we do not get OUT of PGN by Dec 31st and our baby is STUCK when the laws change?"; "When we will get to smell her and hold her in our arms again?" Those of you who know me know I like to try to control things.....getting our daughter was something I had no control over. There were countless lessons we learned during our process to bring Emma home. 1) Faith....faith in God that there is a plan for each of us and what is supposed to happen will happen. 2) Trust in His time...not ours---patients is something I a don't easily have....waiting with no control was horribly difficult for me. 3) Leaving our comfort zone---going to a country we knew very little about. 4) Becoming the minority of the majority. This presented many lessons for us....we did NOT blend in...we were not able to communicate with everyone because we don't know very much spanish. 5) Loving someone the first times my eyes saw hwe---I did. The second I saw Emma---I loved her. With the boys the process of being pregnant was so different and there was so much more time to fall in love with them. I loved seeing their ultra sound pictures, feeling them move inside me, knowing when they were sleeping and awake by how much the moved. I loved them so much even before I saw them in the hospital room. I saw the first 3 pictures of Emma on April 4th and she was real and in my arms on April 11th. It was so fast falling in love with her. 6) The importance of family. Having my parents be so active in this means so much to me. They are always my greatest supports---I still cannot believe I was able to get my Dad to travel to Guatemala not only 1 time but 2! I can also not believe my Mom went 4 times and stayed with me in the hotel for almost 30 days! Could I ever ask for more perfect parents?
January 9, 2008 was a wonderful day. It was the day it was all over. After paying a few fees, signing a few forms....it was OVER. Emma was ours forever! What an amazing feeling! We had to leave the hotel so very early...Emma and I were downstairs waiting on Carolina at 6:30 am with papers in hand a small bag of baby supplies with 1 bottle. You are not allowed to take hardly anything into the Embassy. We were back to the hotel before 10:00 am. Drew was just waking up and we ordered room service, had breakfast and then went to the pool. The following day Emma's Visa arrived and we packed our bags, bought a few more things from Guatemala and were ready to go HOME. How excited we were to see our family! We had missed everyone so much...especially in the last 2 weeks. I couldn't wait for everyone to see Emma. All the thoughts and prayers and well wishes from our family and friends and community had worked...the little girl we loved so much was about to be real to everyone. People who had fallen in love with Emma from pictures and video and stories we shared were going to see how amazing she was for the first time.

Here are some pictures from our last few days in Guatemala





VISA in HAND!